Hi ya’ll! Sometimes it can be tough to find ways to help our boy/girl twins stay connected as they get older. I’ve noticed that lately with my own twins. They were so tight in the toddler years. And even as babies they loved to goo and smile at each other. But as they’ve gotten older their interests have changed and they are making their own friends. Their personalities are polar opposite as well. And as I watch them “live their own life” it makes me a little sad to see that connection slowly disappear. But then hope is once again ignited when they tell me they played together at recess or sat together at lunch!
Obviously a twin bond is not easily broken, they will always have a connection that no one else will understand. However, it did get me thinking of ways I could help to strengthen that bond. Whether our kids are twins or singles it’s always a good idea to encourage them to spend time together, finding mutual interests. Here are a few ideas that work for my family…
Disclaimer- I AM NOT a professional therapist, doctor, or child rearing guru. These suggestions are simply ideas that have worked for my family. If you are looking for professional help, please discontinue reading now. But if you are interested in some helpful tips I encourage you to read on!
Ways to help your twins stay connected
Family time
- Puzzles. (e.g.- animals, landscapes, mutual favorite cartoons or movie characters.)
Puzzles are a great way to not only strengthen their bond but also their minds and motor skills. Having a mutual goal and working together on it will teach them to encourage and how to be part of a team. Versus having the “I’m going to beat you” competitive attitude. (There is nothing wrong with healthy competition, but when you are wanting to pull them together a one-on-one match up is not a great idea. Someone will always feel left out.) - Card Games. (e.g.- Go Fish, Match Game)
- Board Games. (e.g.- Candy Land, Chutes and Ladders.)
Card games and board games are two favorites in our house! Yes, these somewhat contradict what I said in the above tip, but we don’t approach these games as a competition or as there is 1 winner. We approach it as we are a team, and cheer for our team members to make it to the finish line. Because even last place is better than giving up and not placing at all!
one-on-one time
- Legos.
Have your twins create a story with Legos. (e.g.- super heroes and Barbies or princess and knights…something that they both love, then combine it.) You may find they are more in sync than you realized. Plus it’ll make an interesting story! - Crafts.
Crafts are a great way for your twins to chill and have a laid back conversation, while being creative. Communication is key in any relationship. It’s what keeps walls from being built between friends and/or siblings. - Reading.
This is the perfect opportunity to strengthen their sharing skills, as well as their book knowledge. Have them read the same book and take turns reading the pages. - Block Building.
Give your twins a picture of a particular building you want them to mimic. This will not only help them learn how to work together “nicely” but also work on their problem solving abilities.
There are many ways we can help our boy/girl twins stay connected while they are young, so it will become natural as they get into their teens and even adult years.
One way to get ideas is ask your kiddos for a list of fun activities they like to do. Then compare answers to find mutual or similar interests.
Being “sibling match-maker” won’t always be easy, and they may not always like each other. But twin love runs deep and as long as us, as parents, stay consistent, their bond will continue to grow for years to come!