Hi y’all! More often than not, I find that my happiness stems from things or circumstances. Example: if the new rug I want is too expensive, I’m bummed. Or, if I buy a new pair of shoes, I’m joyful. Or, if my kids are crazy, it’s the worst day ever. And if I get my to-do list knocked out, I’m ecstatic.
When looking at these examples like I normally would it makes sense! Obviously things we enjoy makes us happy and disappointments makes us upset. But this is not how to be a truly happy person!
A few days ago I was thinking about how often things actually go as planned. Most days the kids are noisy and the schedule is hectic. So, if I based my happiness on the circumstances around me, how often would I be happy? My answer: not very often.
I have to confess, that reality smacked me right in the face! Although I have always considered myself to be a happy and pleasant person, I am now second guessing that. (hehe) However, with a slight change to my mindset I can be the HAPPY momma I want to be!
Disclaimer- I AM NOT a professional therapist, doctor, or counselor. These suggestions are simply ideas that have worked for my family. If you are looking for professional help, please discontinue reading now. But if you are interested in some helpful tips I encourage you to read on!
How to be a truly happy person: CIRCUMSTANCES
- Instead of focusing on the negative in a situation, focus on a positive.
(Even if there’s just one!) My oldest son was so upset the other day because they were having a substitute teacher. He had convinced himself before the day had even started that it wasn’t going to be fun and his day was ruined. So I suggested that he focuses on the positive instead…he still gets to go to school, he will still see his friends, and he will still come home at the end of the day like normal. Just because one thing isn’t “perfect” doesn’t mean that we have to let it ruin every other part of our day.
- Tell yourself “it could be worse”, and believe it!
I know that sounds a little unorthodox, but there is truth behind it. There has been many times in my life when I’ve looked back on an unfortunate situation and realized how fortunate I actually was! (Example- I’m running late, but if I wasn’t that could’ve been me in that car accident!)
- Set the example.
If you want your entire household to be happy, you need to show them how. Our kiddos are watching us, even when we don’t realize it. I have noticed that when I am having a “bad day”, so do my kids. When my patience wears thin and I snap, so do they. There is no such thing as a perfect parent, but there is such a thing as a parent who strives to be better.
- DO NOT dwell on the “unforeseen” or the “what-if’s”.
A lot of our anxiety stems from things that hasn’t even happened yet. We worry about the “what-if’s” and the “possible outcomes” more than we do the “right now”. Then, that anxiety starts to overshadow our happiness…it rains on our parade per se. So, instead of dwelling on the unforeseen, set a plan and leave it be. Tuck it away like an umbrella and only pull it out on that rainy day. Let today’s sunshine warm your heart and mind (metaphorically speaking)!
How to be a truly happy person: Motivation
- Count your blessings and be grateful!
Sometimes we evaluate those around us and think they have it so much better. But look at what God has given you! Yea, kids can be stressful…but at least you have a child. There are some who do not and would give anything for one (or more). And yea your job gets tiresome and frustrating, but at least you are able to provide for your family. There are many things we take for granted. Try looking at them as blessings instead.
- Love yourself.
Quit beating yourself up for past mistakes. Become a better you in the future by learning from those mistakes. You deserve true happiness just as much as the next person!
There are times when we hold a little too tightly to the “let-downs” in our lives. What starts as hurt, quickly turns to anger, then ferments into bitterness, which then drowns out our happiness. But forgiveness can change all of that! No, it’s not easy. There will be times when you feel the hurt or anger start to burn. But when you choose to forgive you will realize just how powerful and liberating forgiveness truly is! A weight will be lifted off of your shoulders and your soul will begin to sing.
make true happiness a goal
There are many small things in our daily lives that we can change to create a happier home, but true happiness starts in your mind, heart, and soul! Try meditating, praying, or just taking some “me time” to get your mind clear when you feel yourself spinning out of control.
Bad days are going to come, but they also go. You will still get frustrated and overwhelmed, but remember to leave it with that particular situation; don’t let it spill over into the rest of your life and relationships. If you look at life as a cup half FULL, you will enjoy it so much more!
I hope you enjoyed this post and find it helpful! Feel free to comment below with your tips on HOW TO BE A TRULY HAPPY PERSON!