Hey y’all! “I will lift up my eyes” holds an incredibly valuable meaning to me today.
2020 was full of unexpected twists, not only for our country but also in my own personal life. My dad was diagnosed with a form of throat cancer, it wasn’t extremely advanced but the doctors wanted to shrink it before it got any worse. So for the next 7 weeks may dad underwent radiation 5 days a week, plus chemo 1 day every week. (This was towards the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic.) He lost a ton of weight and was sick. He couldn’t work, he didn’t have energy for anything past building a puzzle. But in the midst of this he never lost hope and his faith in God did not waver!
Disclaimer-I am NOT a professional therapist or life coach. These are simply tips that have helped me and my family. If you are looking for professional help please quit reading now. But if you are looking for helpful tips and advice please read on!
The struggle to “lift my eyes”
I wish I could say the same thing for myself. I struggled with the “it’s not fair”, “why is this happening?”, and the big question- “why did God let this happen?” I have been a Christian since I was a child; I was raised in a Godly home, I knew this was not God’s fault. But I couldn’t understand why a great man was going through such torment! What did he do to deserve this? Then I was reminded of Job, he was blameless, righteous, and dang near perfect! Yet he was tested and he passed with flying colors! I prayed my dad would too.
But as I checked in on him everyday my prayers appeared as though they weren’t being answered. The “strong” faith that I always had was not nearly strong enough. I was even second guessing why I should pray. Everything I once believed seemed to crash down all around me. My head and heart was in constant war. I was ready to give up and fully blame God for my dads cancer and my aching being; it seemed to be the easier way out. Keeping faith, hope, and praying eventually seemed meaningless; all I could see was a dark end.
tHE VERSE- PSALM 121:1-2
In the midst of the battle within me a ray of light filled my heart and mind. “I will lift up my eyes to the hills- from whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1-2 has been my favorite verse for as long as I can remember. When I was 9 years old my parents bought me my very first “big girl” Bible. It had a bookmark in it with my name on it, the meaning of my name, and this verse. I’m not sure if it became my favorite verse simply because it was on the bookmark or if it was God preparing me for this moment in the future…
The revelation that lifted my eyes
Remembering that verse helped subside the war going on within me. Blaming God was not having faith, it was not going to reverse time, and it was not how I wanted to live my life. If my dad, the one who was enduring the pain and anguish, could keep his faith in God- why couldn’t I? If the God I serve can create the heavens and earth, he could certainly heal my dad! Mind you, my faith wasn’t soaring through the roof overnight, I still had my struggles. But my faith was strengthened, my heart started healing, and my favorite verse was on repeat in my head reminding me to lift my eyes.
i lifted my eyes and saw a miracle
As the treatment continued, my dad just felt worse. For as long as I can remember my dad had been a buff, strong guy. He had his own construction business so he was always doing physical and manual labor. But now he was shuffling his feet like he was a 100 year old man and his clothes were a bit baggy. I didn’t know how it was even remotely possible for him to bounce back into his “normal life”. I kept telling myself, “faith of a mustard seed is all we need!”
His treatments ended April 7th and the countdown was on for him to get the feeding tube out! The doctors said to give it a few months, he wasn’t going to be able to eat real food for quite some time. But that’s when God performed a miracle!
Around the beginning of May my dad went for a checkup. The doctor was amazed with how quickly he was recovering. Around that same time he started doing a little work around the house, like mowing and cleaning out the shed. As well as, eat certain soft foods. In June he went back to work and in July he got the feeding tube out!
I will lift up my eyes
Looking back I wonder why I ever doubted how God works. (Sometimes I want to shake myself for it!) Bad things happen to good people, that’s part of life. But God can take even the worst situation and create something amazing out of it! We can choose to either use the trial to strengthen our faith or we can let the trial swallow us alive. (Trust me, you want no part of the latter!.)
Don’t let the valley consume you. Keep your eyes lifted so you can see the miracle worker do His work through the struggle and inside of you!
Psalm 121:1-2
“I will lift up my eyes to the hills-from whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.”
Read the devotional here!
If you are looking for a Bible that is easy to understand, check out this version.